Battlefield Casa Que Canta

i am officially two songs done of my album.  post reading the war of art, i set up a fairly rigorous recording schedule.  i made a battle plan and have pretty much stuck to it.  two songs in, i’m feeling pretty good.  and pretty nervous too.  there are still at least 8 more songs to go.  renaming my studio space as casa que canta - the house that sings - two battles have been won.

the tracks…well, get ready.  i’ve discovered i am not folk-rock singer/songwriter shaheen anymore.  no no.  the past year of being free and single has given birth to a seductress.  one who loves to dance.  one who loves to provoke.  and not just through sexual overtones, but intellectual ones as well.  that is the playfulness.  sharp, fun, powerful. 

the guitar is packed up in the gig bag and tucked into the closet.  i’m writing all the songs on the fly.  focusing on rhythms.  learning to play every instrument i can either via midi sequencing or the good ol’ fashioned analog version.  the latest is a rented violin from the local music store.  every afternoon, i’m in the studio by myself like a mad scientist.  but madness and creativity often go hand in hand.  somehow god shows up in that mess.  who knows why.  and between the struggle and anxiety inevitably emerges a new song.  experimental.  out of bounds.

i’m preparing you as a means of preparing myself as well.  after spending the weekend with my family for my nephew’s first birthday party and my mom’s surprise retirement party, i’m heading back to work tomorrow.  song three…i mean battle three…on the floor.

The War of Art

being a professional artist is like being a soldier.  the twisted poetry of this is remarkable to me.  but it is true.  the kind of razor sharp focus and fierceness it takes to show up everyday to meet your muse despite if you feel inspired, if you feel like it, or if the world around you feels like it’s collapsing, is daunting, but doable.  at least that’s what i’ve experienced personally and read about in steven pressfield’s book "the war of art."  anyone interested in living an unlived life, get the book.  it will kick you in the ass. 

i read the book going up and down the "e" train in nyc.  shuttling back and forth between midtown and soho this past weekend, i relaxed into my rides like a new york native with a literary kick in the ass.  it was just what i needed to process the week before and figure out what was important to me and how to get where i wanted to be.

i landed at the newark airport early friday morning and had to figure out how to take the train into manhattan.  luckily, there was a young man headed in the same direction and i basically followed him into penn station like a little puppy dog.  his name is ed and we ended up roaming nyc all morning long waiting for our friends to wake up and get through their work day.  he told me all about his life, as i told him about mine, exchanging war stories of life and love.  it turns out he has a dear, sweet girlfriend.  he was in the market for an engagement ring for her.  so you know what we did that morning?  we walked around to different jewelry stores and to the diamond district haggling over diamonds.  ed is an engineer so he has done all kinds of research into the exact type of diamond he wants.  it was a complete education for me.  i had no idea so much went into buying a diamond.  my start to my nyc trip was quirky and random, but lovely.

the rest of the weekend, i made sure to have a lot of fun!  doing kula yoga with tasneem, dancing at bed with akshay, eating kati rolls on macdougal street and in washington square park, sipping sparkling wine on zia’s rooftop, and gazing at cute boys with heather.  just what the soul needed. 

i cleared my head.  read my book.  wrote in my journal.  and then thought…i am an artist no matter what anyone else says.  and i’m curious to know what my new album is going to sound like regardless if anyone else wants to listen to it - including record companies and money makers.  in the end, they are not the reason why i stay up late at night in the dark writing my songs.  i do it because i love it. 

on my plan ride home, i found the soldier in me.  i started mapping out a production schedule for the album and blocking out 4 hours everyday to work in the studio.  it’s my goal to get this next one done by mid december and then take a long sabbatical in india.  i’m happy to report that after my 2nd day, i finished tracking the intro to the album.  being an artist who trains like a soldier - i find it sexy.  you’re going to hear that in my new songs.  get the book.  it may turn you into a sexpot too…

Book of Love

setbacks are a normal part of life.  this we are all too familiar with.  and of course we also know there are times when it feels like a gentle breeze that could flip up your skirt if you’re not careful - playful and inspiring giggles.  other times, it can be so forceful that you feel flattened.  unable to breathe or believe you will recover as the same person.

i was flattened last night.  somehow it seems that when i take four steps forward getting closer and closer to my dream, all of a sudden, the hand comes slamming down only to leave me shocked and spilled all over the floor.

the irony of course is that music is my life line even when it feels like i am denied access to the world i love so much.  clinging to my collection of songs, i’ve been letting the hundreds of artists i admire move me all day today.  these men and women have surrendered to their craft in ways that i have yet to learn.  i am still enslaved by my desires of freedom to be an artist. 

the song carrying me now is peter gabriel’s remake of a punk rock song called, "the book of love."    i am hoping that some rejuvenation comes soon.