i started this entry while still in india.  i’m back in cali now finishing it up.  miserably behind on all the tales from the motherland…stay tuned…

before the zoom glam awards, savio, my label rep, told me, "kill them tonight."  that was the plan all along.  but the day of prep on saturday did not seem like it would have inspired me to win the crowd over.  being asked to lip sync so that the crowd could hear the full production of the cd instead of a mellower acoustic version had left a bad taste in my mouth.  i stood my ground - i said i would sing or they could cut me from the show.  they let me sing.  it was a cultural clash with my homeland…in the states lip synching is basically blasphemous and india it’s par for the course so that grand bollywood-esque types of shows can be produced at all times complete with swedish dancers and fireworks.  i’m not a swedish dancer kind of act…to say the least.

we’ve come to know india in a new way since arriving.  it’s one thing to come to the motherland for shopping and socializing.  it’s a totaly different thing to come here and understand the business world.  the hangama began at 12pm.  my new friend, shibani kashyap, came to my hotel room so we could work on our jugulbandi song.  we decided to combine one of her hindi songs (zinda) and one of my english songs (woman out of me) together.  the surprise was that i would sing the hindi chorus and she would sing the english chorus. 

at 2pm one of the event coordinators came to the room to discuss the agenda for the day.  time of sound check, make up artist, etc.  really…it didn’t matter what time they told us, india does not work on a time card.  the invitation for the event said 7pm.  the show did not begin til 9:30pm.  that gives you an idea of indian standard time in the motherland.  tasha and i had become well versed in this new system.  by saturday, we were prepared for the hurry up and wait mode of operation.  by sunday, we had slipped into the rhythm pretty well. 

sound check didn’t happen til 4:30pm.  we were sharing pre-show stage time with the blond dancers from miami.  they had to work out their version of "don’t cha" by the pussycat dolls.  it was a spectular sight to see all of the workers building the stage and converting what was a normal looking ballroom at the swanky hilton into a grand set made for television.  the stage was white and lit up from the underneath and shaped like a dome with all kinds of hidden enterances to make appearances all the more exciting.  there were probably 75 people just working on setup.  labor is dirt cheap in india.  assistants have assistants.

by 5pm, i was ushered off the stage and dropped off at the makeup station.  they are artists of a totally different kind.  in 30 minutes, he had transformed me from my geeky wavy haired self to this glamorous other person.  maria, the hair stylist, took a straight iron through my hair and turned my do in this homage to 60’s grace.  i went back up to my room to put on my gown.  a magenta corset and full-length skirt.  tasha let me borrow some jewels for the final touches on the outfit.  it was 7pm.  then we waited.

finally at 8:30, they called us to come down and wait some more backstage.  tasha and i knew no one.  savio was with us the entire time.  i kept teasing him that i wanted to meet john abraham.  savio rolled his eyes and shook his head with a smile, not one to be into infatuations.  low and behold, john showed up backstage with his fabulously beautiful girlfriend bipasha basu, fellow actress/model.  i literally tripped over myself to get a glimpse.  john is very aware of the massive amounts of attention he gets.  it must alter your reality. 

tasha, savio and i stuck to ourselves mostly.  we were not a part of this glamorous bollywood world yet.  i was the new kid in this playground and i’d have to wait for me and my friends to get a turn at the swingset.

they love to blast the AC indoors in india.  it makes getting warmed up virtually impossible.  i tried to avoid the vents as best i could and wrapped myself in tasha’s brown shawl.  finally, i could only do one thing to calm me down.  tune my guitar.  it is always such a meditative moment i have with my instrument before a show.  i imagine the way a jockey has a few words with his horse before they ride to the starting gates.  savio sat with me and asked if i wanted to be alone.  i preferred the silent company.

finally, around 10:30, the one of the stage managers came back to take me to stage and get me mic’d up.  savio and tasha said they were heading to the front to watch.  now i was waiting in the chaos.  wires and cables everywhere.  models running around with award statuettes in their hand.  stage hands adjusting the mic wire clipped on my back.  another asking if the stool was the right height and did i want the mic to come from my left or my right.  my nerves were taking off.  i needed to figure out a way to calm down.

matt, my life coach, had told me that if there was any time i started to freak, to just think of him and recite my mantra.  "i’m here to inspire.  even if just one person."  so i pictured his smiling face, bowed my head and started repeating the phrase over and over again.  surely in a room full of 500 people, i could capture one person’s attention and inspire them.  that was my purpose.  all the noise got quiet for me and i could feel myself getting in the zone. 

then i heard ash chandler, a new friend, start to read my introduction, which seemed more like a biodata for a perspective marriage partner.  i shook my head.  i could hear him rattle something off about me practicing yoga.  what did that have to do with my performance?  he later told me he had nothing to do with my intro and wanted no blame for it.  i told him i knew that and we had tried to rewrite it, but the powers that be decided to keep it as is.  i walked out in the middle of the intro, hoping that people would stop listening.

somehow i managed to climb on to the stool with my gown with some amount of grace and looked out into the audience.  i smiled.  "it’s so nice to be here with you all the way from los angeles.  i’m going to sing a song called "here and now."  let’s do it."  and then i started the here and now riff.  before i realized what happened, everyone in the audience spontaneously started clapping along!  i knew it at that moment.  i had them with me.  3 1/2 minutes later, the song was done.  i was smiling.  the who’s who of mumbai was loving it.

"thank you so much.  since i’ve come from so far, i’d love to sing another song for you.  and for this one, i’d like to bring out my new friend, shibani kashyap.  shibani?"  and her came shibani, in her glamorous outfit #2.  two desi women and their guitars.  we started with some alaap and then shibani slowly began her hit "zinda."  when it was time for the chorus, i belted out "zinda hun mein."  the crowd went wild - perhaps because it was the chorus, perhaps because an american rock chic just busted out into hindi.  we transitioned nicely into "woman out of me" and closed with some improv/jugalbundi.  the crowd enjoyed it, clapped, and we were off.

when i finally got unclipped from my guitar mic and squeezed my way from behind the stage, i saw savio waiting for me.  grin from ear to ear.  "i told you i would kill them."  he said he was going to enjoy this moment for a while.  i understand.  he took a risk on bringing me all the way from LA with no firsthand idea of what kind of a performer i was.  not to mention my kind of music is far from the mainstream in india.  but he believed in me and for that i’m ever grateful.  this is the stuff of great moments.

tasha came running after me with champagne in her hand.  "I’M SO PROUD OF YOU!!!  THAT’S THE BEST OF I’VE HEARD YOU SING THAT SONG!!!"  we hugged for a while and laughed.  anil from bombay times chased after us to say that he thought i was fantastic and wanted to do a piece on me.  after a few pics for the press and a post show interview with the zoom cameras, i went to put my guitar away.

the show ended shortly after.  we kicked it at the afterparty.  highlight #1…kunal kapoor came over to me and said, "i really enjoyed your performance."  poor guy…i launched at him and said, "i’m such a big fan of yours!!!!"  he jumped back, put one hand on his heart, smiled and said, "well, i’m a fan of yours now too."  i became of a fan of his after watching his portrayal of aslam in rang de basanti.  he captures your heart in that role.  he came over to me again before leaving the party to say goodbye.  by this time, i was more composed and chatted with him for a few minutes.  i still think he was a bit afraid of me, but managed to kick it for a bit nonetheless. 

okay…highlight #2.  my label guys were chatting with me and suresh, the VP at times said, "oh…hariharan is just leaving.  let me bring him over to you before he goes so you can say hi."  so here he comes over to me.  i would have touched his feet but we were standing too close and there was no room to move back.  i would have plowed right into his stomach had i tried.  instead, i shook his hand and said with a smile, "hello sir.  my mom is a huge fan of yours."  he smiled back.  it comes up that me, hariharan, and suresh are all tamilian.  hariharan said, "oh really.  you’re tamil."  i responded in tamil.  a few sentences.  he smiled and said, "hey…you speak pretty good."  it broke the ice.  he stood with us for 15 minutes and we talked shop a bit.  he said he liked my music; it’s different.  he was also happy that i sang live.  we both grumbled about the lip synching fever in india.  he told us funny stories about being in the studio with a.r. rahman and mani ratnam.  i was in heaven.  it was happening.  dreams were coming true.

we partied.  i drank neat scotch.  danced with yogesh from zoom and ash.  some man told me all about his wife and children in lahore and then asked if i wanted to take a walk on the beach with him.  "how’s your wife doing?" as i walked away.  the only tough part about the night was that tasha’s purse got stolen.  luckily nothing uber valuable, but her camera was in there and that meant all the pics we took from the trip.  real bummer.  but my mom says that whenever something fantastic happens, you want something small to go wrong.  it will keep people from casting an evil eye.  i decided to go with that theory.

i smiled for the next 2 days.  so did savio and tasha. 

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