india has staked a claim in me. i like that line from this article. i want more and more to be a possession of the world. somehow it makes me feel like i have a purpose other than just getting up in the morning and going about my business. odd.
some other mentions in recent press about the zoom glam awards show…
yesterday was a good day. the last two major pieces i needed for my home studio came through and should be with me in the next 10 days or so! this is very exciting because this means two things…
finally i will get the files from my first album with me and be able to send them out to DJs for remixing. i’m thrilled that this process is starting because i’m a dancer and can’t wait to see my babies (aka songs) turned into club remixes just for the fun of it.
the second exciting news is that i get to start working on my next album from the comfort of my bedroom. my poor flatmates….thankfully they have day jobs and i can shout into a microphone all i want without bothering them too much.
i’ve started a journal where i jot down all my ideas about how i want the next album to sound and what i want the songs to be about. i will be writing on the fly. i know there will be sounds from india in there because i took my handheld digital recorder and taped motherland. maybe one track will be "’insert song title here’ featuring motherland." ha!
looking forward to the summer sessions. i will be holed up in my bedroom most of the time. anyone want to join me?
dear free the slaves and artists against slavery,
thank you for doing the work in a world and time that should offer more…
i’m back in LA now. i’ll spare you all the blow by blow details for the last few days in india. just a quick recap. from tuesday to thursday, we packed in what we could…an interview with timeout mumbai, another interview with the bombay times, an on-air interview and performance at radio mirchi, and a couple of in-store performances at planet Ms in mumbai. they were all thrilling in one way or another because after all, they were signs that dreams were coming true. everyone in india had been so welcoming and excited; i wasn’t expecting such a reaction. i didn’t know what to expect. this all came as a most exciting surprise.
we interspersed work with time with our friends. dinner at olive. drinks at busaba, just next to indigo in colaba. laughing a lot. loving india. it has captured my heart since the first time i landed in chennai as a 4-year old. there is so much warmth and love in the hearts of indians. hard not to fall hard for this kind of beauty.
savio and james are busy at work. getting my video onto the airwaves and off the censor board’s desk. planning for a metro tour - bangalore, chennai, mumbai, delhi, calcutta. sammy and i are busy working on getting some of the tracks remixed for the club scene. new dj friends on myspace have taken on the task of remixing wildflower world. they have promised a version in two weeks! i promised raw tracks to savio so he can have one of my label mates and one of india’s great djs take a stab at a remix as well. so much talent…am excited to have other ears and spirits play with my tunes! can you wait to hear them?!?
my cold is 98% better. i’m 96% over my jetlag. and 99.9% at peace with what’s to come. because now whatever happens, i get to say to my grandkids…"your budima naani was once a rock star." and they will appropriately laugh at the thought of an old lady shaking her ass on stage, but you and i will always know that i got to live the dream.
we landed on thursday and by sunday night after the zoom awards, all i could think about was my bed and sleeping in. after the zoom party, tasha, me, ash and the lahore fellow with the family caught an elevator to head to our rooms. ash and the lahore fellow went one direction. tasha and i went another. i was riding high and didn’t feel like making any more small talk with new bombay friends, so i told tash that i was going to crash and not join the after after party. she was riding high and wanted to enjoy the rush, so she changed quickly and headed back out into the mumbai night.
alone in the hotel room, i turned on some music and just danced around a bit. and then i headed to my laptop to skype samata. she was furniture shopping with her folks for her new condo. i called with a big smile on my face. "it went fantastic." she was thrilled to hear it went so well and was happy to hear from me. it was a damn shame that she wasn’t able to join us on the trip. last minute scheduling and logistic issues. the first and last time she won’t be with us for the fun.
i think i made a few more calls and texted a few more people back home before i headed to the shower to peel off the layers of makeup on my face. it took two days before all of the makeup would wash away. i’m sure there was a cement compound in the mix! relaxed after the hot shower and ready for bed, i climbed in for a dreamy night of sleep. it was about 2:30am. i managed to sleep in til about 9am. monday was officially our day off - national maharashtra day. room service and checking email soon followed my rising.
i hardly did a thing on monday. moved from bed, to desk, to couch. we had made plans to meet up with some of our friends at a local golf course club house called the willingdon sports club. here’s an interesting relic in indian history. there are a handful of these clubs scattered all through the country. they are former british country clubs during their occupation of india. no indians were allowed membership and the only indians allowed to enter were the ones who worked there to serve and clean. after the independence movement, the upper crust of indian society decided to turn them into their social safe havens. when you walk into these clubs, you can feel the former british influence. the decor and architecture is distinctly british. the manner of operation also british formal. no doubt, the club is a beautiful oasis in the middle of a bustling metropolis, but the socio-political implications always stay with me. food for a new song…
after chai and chaat, we headed back to the hilton towers. exhaustion set in. tasha collapsed on the bed and we tried to watch jerry macguire on cable, but no luck. both of fell fast asleep. we knew the next few days would be up and running types of days once again. i could not believe i would be leaving on thursday. the trip was fast coming to a close.
i started this entry while still in india. i’m back in cali now finishing it up. miserably behind on all the tales from the motherland…stay tuned…
before the zoom glam awards, savio, my label rep, told me, "kill them tonight." that was the plan all along. but the day of prep on saturday did not seem like it would have inspired me to win the crowd over. being asked to lip sync so that the crowd could hear the full production of the cd instead of a mellower acoustic version had left a bad taste in my mouth. i stood my ground - i said i would sing or they could cut me from the show. they let me sing. it was a cultural clash with my homeland…in the states lip synching is basically blasphemous and india it’s par for the course so that grand bollywood-esque types of shows can be produced at all times complete with swedish dancers and fireworks. i’m not a swedish dancer kind of act…to say the least.
we’ve come to know india in a new way since arriving. it’s one thing to come to the motherland for shopping and socializing. it’s a totaly different thing to come here and understand the business world. the hangama began at 12pm. my new friend, shibani kashyap, came to my hotel room so we could work on our jugulbandi song. we decided to combine one of her hindi songs (zinda) and one of my english songs (woman out of me) together. the surprise was that i would sing the hindi chorus and she would sing the english chorus.
at 2pm one of the event coordinators came to the room to discuss the agenda for the day. time of sound check, make up artist, etc. really…it didn’t matter what time they told us, india does not work on a time card. the invitation for the event said 7pm. the show did not begin til 9:30pm. that gives you an idea of indian standard time in the motherland. tasha and i had become well versed in this new system. by saturday, we were prepared for the hurry up and wait mode of operation. by sunday, we had slipped into the rhythm pretty well.
sound check didn’t happen til 4:30pm. we were sharing pre-show stage time with the blond dancers from miami. they had to work out their version of "don’t cha" by the pussycat dolls. it was a spectular sight to see all of the workers building the stage and converting what was a normal looking ballroom at the swanky hilton into a grand set made for television. the stage was white and lit up from the underneath and shaped like a dome with all kinds of hidden enterances to make appearances all the more exciting. there were probably 75 people just working on setup. labor is dirt cheap in india. assistants have assistants.
by 5pm, i was ushered off the stage and dropped off at the makeup station. they are artists of a totally different kind. in 30 minutes, he had transformed me from my geeky wavy haired self to this glamorous other person. maria, the hair stylist, took a straight iron through my hair and turned my do in this homage to 60’s grace. i went back up to my room to put on my gown. a magenta corset and full-length skirt. tasha let me borrow some jewels for the final touches on the outfit. it was 7pm. then we waited.
finally at 8:30, they called us to come down and wait some more backstage. tasha and i knew no one. savio was with us the entire time. i kept teasing him that i wanted to meet john abraham. savio rolled his eyes and shook his head with a smile, not one to be into infatuations. low and behold, john showed up backstage with his fabulously beautiful girlfriend bipasha basu, fellow actress/model. i literally tripped over myself to get a glimpse. john is very aware of the massive amounts of attention he gets. it must alter your reality.
tasha, savio and i stuck to ourselves mostly. we were not a part of this glamorous bollywood world yet. i was the new kid in this playground and i’d have to wait for me and my friends to get a turn at the swingset.
they love to blast the AC indoors in india. it makes getting warmed up virtually impossible. i tried to avoid the vents as best i could and wrapped myself in tasha’s brown shawl. finally, i could only do one thing to calm me down. tune my guitar. it is always such a meditative moment i have with my instrument before a show. i imagine the way a jockey has a few words with his horse before they ride to the starting gates. savio sat with me and asked if i wanted to be alone. i preferred the silent company.
finally, around 10:30, the one of the stage managers came back to take me to stage and get me mic’d up. savio and tasha said they were heading to the front to watch. now i was waiting in the chaos. wires and cables everywhere. models running around with award statuettes in their hand. stage hands adjusting the mic wire clipped on my back. another asking if the stool was the right height and did i want the mic to come from my left or my right. my nerves were taking off. i needed to figure out a way to calm down.
matt, my life coach, had told me that if there was any time i started to freak, to just think of him and recite my mantra. "i’m here to inspire. even if just one person." so i pictured his smiling face, bowed my head and started repeating the phrase over and over again. surely in a room full of 500 people, i could capture one person’s attention and inspire them. that was my purpose. all the noise got quiet for me and i could feel myself getting in the zone.
then i heard ash chandler, a new friend, start to read my introduction, which seemed more like a biodata for a perspective marriage partner. i shook my head. i could hear him rattle something off about me practicing yoga. what did that have to do with my performance? he later told me he had nothing to do with my intro and wanted no blame for it. i told him i knew that and we had tried to rewrite it, but the powers that be decided to keep it as is. i walked out in the middle of the intro, hoping that people would stop listening.
somehow i managed to climb on to the stool with my gown with some amount of grace and looked out into the audience. i smiled. "it’s so nice to be here with you all the way from los angeles. i’m going to sing a song called "here and now." let’s do it." and then i started the here and now riff. before i realized what happened, everyone in the audience spontaneously started clapping along! i knew it at that moment. i had them with me. 3 1/2 minutes later, the song was done. i was smiling. the who’s who of mumbai was loving it.
"thank you so much. since i’ve come from so far, i’d love to sing another song for you. and for this one, i’d like to bring out my new friend, shibani kashyap. shibani?" and her came shibani, in her glamorous outfit #2. two desi women and their guitars. we started with some alaap and then shibani slowly began her hit "zinda." when it was time for the chorus, i belted out "zinda hun mein." the crowd went wild - perhaps because it was the chorus, perhaps because an american rock chic just busted out into hindi. we transitioned nicely into "woman out of me" and closed with some improv/jugalbundi. the crowd enjoyed it, clapped, and we were off.
when i finally got unclipped from my guitar mic and squeezed my way from behind the stage, i saw savio waiting for me. grin from ear to ear. "i told you i would kill them." he said he was going to enjoy this moment for a while. i understand. he took a risk on bringing me all the way from LA with no firsthand idea of what kind of a performer i was. not to mention my kind of music is far from the mainstream in india. but he believed in me and for that i’m ever grateful. this is the stuff of great moments.
tasha came running after me with champagne in her hand. "I’M SO PROUD OF YOU!!! THAT’S THE BEST OF I’VE HEARD YOU SING THAT SONG!!!" we hugged for a while and laughed. anil from bombay times chased after us to say that he thought i was fantastic and wanted to do a piece on me. after a few pics for the press and a post show interview with the zoom cameras, i went to put my guitar away.
the show ended shortly after. we kicked it at the afterparty. highlight #1…kunal kapoor came over to me and said, "i really enjoyed your performance." poor guy…i launched at him and said, "i’m such a big fan of yours!!!!" he jumped back, put one hand on his heart, smiled and said, "well, i’m a fan of yours now too." i became of a fan of his after watching his portrayal of aslam in rang de basanti. he captures your heart in that role. he came over to me again before leaving the party to say goodbye. by this time, i was more composed and chatted with him for a few minutes. i still think he was a bit afraid of me, but managed to kick it for a bit nonetheless.
okay…highlight #2. my label guys were chatting with me and suresh, the VP at times said, "oh…hariharan is just leaving. let me bring him over to you before he goes so you can say hi." so here he comes over to me. i would have touched his feet but we were standing too close and there was no room to move back. i would have plowed right into his stomach had i tried. instead, i shook his hand and said with a smile, "hello sir. my mom is a huge fan of yours." he smiled back. it comes up that me, hariharan, and suresh are all tamilian. hariharan said, "oh really. you’re tamil." i responded in tamil. a few sentences. he smiled and said, "hey…you speak pretty good." it broke the ice. he stood with us for 15 minutes and we talked shop a bit. he said he liked my music; it’s different. he was also happy that i sang live. we both grumbled about the lip synching fever in india. he told us funny stories about being in the studio with a.r. rahman and mani ratnam. i was in heaven. it was happening. dreams were coming true.
we partied. i drank neat scotch. danced with yogesh from zoom and ash. some man told me all about his wife and children in lahore and then asked if i wanted to take a walk on the beach with him. "how’s your wife doing?" as i walked away. the only tough part about the night was that tasha’s purse got stolen. luckily nothing uber valuable, but her camera was in there and that meant all the pics we took from the trip. real bummer. but my mom says that whenever something fantastic happens, you want something small to go wrong. it will keep people from casting an evil eye. i decided to go with that theory.
i smiled for the next 2 days. so did savio and tasha.
dear manish…
thanks for the post.